I am amazed at how just taking one small step can lead a person into new and unchartered territory. So small are the steps that without even noticing it, a person is out in the middle of shaky ground, looks around and YIKES! Where am I?

That is what has happened to me this summer. I have always wanted to take singing lessons and found out that a lovely young girl by the name of Jasmin Parkin, was spending her summer teaching singing lessons. So I took one small step. In July I signed up for one hour of singing lessons a week for the summer months. Hmmm, I thought, I will learn how to hit the high notes, release some of that tension around my throat chakra and stretch myself in the area of personal expression.

It was a stretch all right. First of all, how do I open my mounth to sing while at the same time I am highly critical of the sound that is emitting from it? It was a challenge to relax into the joy of singing while some kind of heightened awareness within me judged the sounds I was trying to create. Small steps, relax, release judgment, imperfection and laugh with my Self.

One day my young teacher suggested I record one of the songs I was singing so that I could practice at home. COMMIT MY VOICE TO PERMANENT RECORD????!!!! I still hadn’t forgotten how everyone in my Grade 10 class had laughed at my recorded voice in a required course at school. And didn’t people say that my answering machine message sounded like a 3 year old talking? I decided to put the idea under consideration.

You know how sometimes words and ideas come out of your mouth when you least expect it? Well, after some thought, what come out of my mouth was, “You know, I do lead the meditations at my Healing Touch practice group and some friends have asked me to record them. Is that possible?” Naturally it was. I didn’t mention it again for fear of what I might have started. But that was one more small step. I really didn’t see where it was going. Lucky thing because I would have scared the hell out of me!

The next week in spite of keeping quiet about this crazy idea, Jasmin perkily reminds me that my lessons are being given in a recording studio, they can do anything there, it’s good to get over a fear of speaking into a microphone and when do I want to start recording? Can’t she comprehend the fear that is glazing over my eyes? But what do I say? “You know maybe I could sing the tones associated with the chakras and put them into my meditations as well.” Who is doing the speaking for me anyway? Some insane cosmic Self?!

So I was taking more small steps, not looking where I was going, but was something deep inside leading me somewhere? Into the joy of creativity? Stretching me and testing me with all that I have learned over this lifetime?

Suddenly I woke up. What have I done?! I am now propelling my Self through a process I would never knowing have committed to. I am recording a meditation CD. I have recorded myself singing chakra tones. I’m having a musician create background music. I’ve hired a friend who is a gifted graphic artist to design a CD cover, which is so amazing that I believe I am going to get posers made up for sale. I’m creating a website! I’m going to have the meditations available for MP3 downloads, and the CD will be for sale on the internet! The ideas are flowing and possibilities abound.

One step, two steps, three steps, four….god help me….what will happen if I take any more? The strangest thing is that I can’t seem to help myself. The path is not marked, it’s generally dark and I can’t see where I am going, but what an adventure! http://www.messagestoself.com/